


Along Came The Spider

by Draginn



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: But also a prince?, Crack Treated Seriously, Eret's pronouns change every chapter because why the hell not, Gen, How Do I Tag, Humor, Secret Identity, Wilbur's a criminal?, although that might be a little high, idk it's hard to explain, just read the summary, rated T just in case, uhhh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:01:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27086770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draginn/pseuds/Draginn
Summary: "Wait!" Eret shouted, desperate to keep her life. The masked figure cocked their head to the side, as if trying to figure out whether or not to kill her. Eret swallowed, knowing she only had so long before The Spider inevitably tired of waiting. "What are your pronouns?"Or, alternatively:In which Eret befriends the most dangerous person in the world, and they meet up on Wednesdays and bitch about people.
Relationships: Eret & Wilbur Soot, Niki | Nihachu & Wilbur Soot
Comments: 23
Kudos: 147





	1. Chapter 1

Wilbur was dangerous.  
He knew this.  
Sure, his family stood out more. Philza, his father, the experienced survivalist. Technoblade, his older brother, the best fighter in most types of combat. Tommy, his younger brother, who could rally people around him with a few words. But Wilbur, the middle child, the one who was often overlooked, was quite possibly the most dangerous out of all of them.  
Wilbur craved control, craved power. He needed it. And so, at night, when his family was asleep, he donned a mask. He became The Spider, spinning his web of lies. He made good on his threats, connected many places through tunnels, anonymously sponsored certain people, and assassinated others. The Spider was quite possibly the most feared person in the entire Antarctic Empire, and he knew it. He was proud of it. He had control, he had power. His family was none the wiser. He was content.  
_~~He was lonely~~_


	2. And so it Begins...

Eret liked to think that she lived a pretty good life. She wasn’t particularly high up in the social order, but that was okay. She ran a bakery with her good friends Fundy and Nikki, and it made enough to support the kind of like that she wanted. During the day, she would banter back and forth with her friends about various topics, but their conversations always seemed to circle back to The Spider. At least once a day, her customers would claim that they saw the elusive figure, but Eret wasn’t sure she believed them. 

"I swear, I saw The Spider! They just killed someone right in front of me! Gave me the biggest fright of my life, I'll tell you that."

"Yesterday, The Spider just broke into my shop! I'm okay, thank goodness, but they stole all my flowers!"

"The Spider? Oh, my nephew's friend's cousin's father had tea with them once! They were a lovely guest, apparently."

Eret wasn't sure she believed these stories. In fact, she wasn't even sure that this person was even real. So that's why when she went to close up for the day, she was absolutely shocked to see the slim figure in the back alleyway of her shop, hunched over some sort of notebook and writing profusely. Eret let out a silent breath and slowly backed away, determined not to alert the person in front of her. Unfortunately, her heel caught on a pebble and the rock flew across the pavement, making a clattering sound. The Spider whipped around to face her, knife in hand. They loomed over her, knife pointed at her throat, ready to strike-

"Wait!" Eret shouted, desperate to keep her life. The masked figure tilted their head to the side, as if trying to figure out whether or not to kill her. Eret swallowed, knowing she only had so long before The Spider inevitably tired of waiting. "What are your pronouns?"

There was silence for a good five seconds as The Spider seemed to process the question. Then they took out the notebook that they had been writing in earlier. They wrote something down, then flipped it around to show her. 

_ he/him _

“Oh. Thank you for telling me,” Eret said, less scared but still apprehensive. The Spider scribbled down something else, and showed Eret what he had written.

_ We’re friends now. There’s nothing you can do about it. _

Eret blinked, the last of her caution fading away and being replaced by confusion. “Um, ok?”

_ See you next Wednesday! _

The Spider walked away, disappearing into the darkness, leaving Eret to process what the hell had just happened. It wasn’t long before she came to a startling revelation though. “I am okay with this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This idea came to me in the middle of the night and would not leave me alone. Anyways, what to you guys think? Constructive criticism is welcomed and encouraged!


	3. He talks?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eret learns that their friend can talk

Eret wasn't quite sure what they expected whenever they ran into The Spider that one time. They certainty hadn't expected him to make good on his promise to visit on Wednesdays. And yet, here they were, three months into this arrangement, and it had been strangely nice. Eret had someone to talk to, and The Spider would just listen, occasionally writing his thoughts on his notepad.

Which is why they were so shocked when on the next day they met up, The Spider had seemed distressed, saying "I really need to vent right now. Can you just listen to me for a minute?"

Eret yelped loudly. "YOU CAN TALK????" 

Yeah. 

Not their brightest moment.

Thankfully, The Spider seemed only slightly annoyed. "Yeah, I can. I just don't because I want to be completely anonymous. Can't have anyone recognizing my voice, now can I?"

Eret blinked. It made sense, and his voice really was familiar… "Well, that seems logical. Anyways, what were you saying?"

"Can you just listen to me vent for a while? I had a really shitty day."

"Yeah, of course! Go ahead." Eret listened to The Spider complain about his day, offering words of sympathy whenever it seemed appropriate. The Spider seemed to appreciate it, calming down as he ranted to them. Eret allowed themself to consider just how weird this was, that the most mysterious person in the world had suddenly decided that they were friends instead of killing them. Even so, they wouldn't have it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was kinda short. Sorry about that! I'll try to make the next one a bit longer, but no promises.


	4. Nikki is here now!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nikki is here! I did not plan for her to be here, but she kind of just snuck her way into the story.

Eret didn't know what he did in a past to deserve this. He must have had a crazy amount of bad karma. There was no other explanation for why The Spider was standing here, in all of his terrifying glory, trying to…..  
Actually, Eret wasn't quite sure what The Spider was trying to do. He was just kind of standing there, looking very awkward. And well, their store did have a policy.

"Excuse me," Eret called, looking at The Spider. "But we have a very strong 'no loitering' policy. You have been standing there for five minutes, either but something or go stand somewhere else." Nikki, who was working with him at the moment, slowly turned towards him, a look of horror on her face.

 _"Eret! What the hell are you doing?"_ she hissed at him. Eret ignored her, but felt kind of bad for worrying her. The Spider, meanwhile, had been writing in his notebook.

_I'll take the rasin bread._

"Alright, that will be $5.50," Eret replied.

_nah_

"And why not?

_just don't feel like it_

"Well sorry, but I can't give you this unless you pay."

_:(_

"Alright then, I guess I'll just put this back."

The Spider sighed and finally fished out the money from his pocket. Everyone in the store was shocked, watching the interaction between the two. Nikki, however, was not impressed. She pulled Eret into the back room to have a little "chat."

"Eret, I worry about you sometimes," she said.

"What do you mean?" Eret questioned, despite knowing exactly why he was here right now.

"Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about!"

"Is this about The Spider? Because really, he's not going to hurt anyone. He's just...super dramatic."

"Are you sure we're talking about the same person? Because last I heard, The Spider was the most feared person in the world."

"He's only killed three people! He told me so!"

Nikki had to pause and take a deep breath, reminding herself that _yes, homicide was illegal._ "Eret, you are such a dumbass sometimes! Just...be safe, ok? I'd hate to wake up one day and lose you."

Eret's expression became serious, his words losing their joking tone. "I promise. I'm sorry for worrying you, but he's not going to hurt me, I promise. He seems kind of lonely, actually."

"Alright, I trust you. Just don't get killed."

"Actually, do you want to meet him? We meet up on Wednesdays at my house usually."

"Do you meet up at your house, or does he break into your house?" Nikki asked, amused.

"Well…."

Nikki let out a laugh. "I'll be there. But just this once."

"Yes! Thank you Nikki! He's great, really, you'll see."

"Okay, Eret. Whatever. Now, I think we've left our customers waiting for long enough."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, constructive criticism is welcome and encouraged!


	5. How do I name chapters help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue! Lots of dialogue! We love dialogue! Also this chapter is from Wilbur's POV because I had no idea how to write it otherwise.

Wilbur had no idea what he was doing when he decided to befriend Eret. He was getting kind of lonely on his nightly escapades, true, but he didn't know exactly why he decided to meet up with Eret on Wednesdays. And yet, here he was, breaking in to Eret's house once more (through the window of course), already ranting about the stupidity that he had encountered that day.

"Oh my gosh, so you know how I said that dealing with people is a giant pain-" Wilbur stopped as he caught sight of another person standing in Eret's living room. "Oh. Hello."

To her credit, Eret didn't seem too nervous when she introduced the two of them. "Nikki, this is The Spider. Spider, this is Nikki. She was the other worker in the shop when you came to buy the rasin bread earlier."

"Hi," Nikki said nervously.

Well, at least this meant that Eret trusted him if she was bringing her friends to meet him. And Wilbur also trusted Eret, so he supposed that he should probably try to befriend this person. Wilbur waved at her. "Hi," he said back.

"Anyways, Spider, why do you feel the need to go in through the window? You know I keep my door unlocked," Eret asked him.

"Can I be dramatic going through the door? No, I can't. I need to make a good first impression on any people you might have over, and I can't do that if I use the front door!" Wilbur replied.

Nikki snorted quietly. "It definitely made an… impression."

"See! Nikki thinks it was cool!"

Eret rolled her eyes. "Nikki is too nice to say anything else."

"Hey! I am not!" 

"This is slander, Eret. Slander, I tell you!" Wilbur shouted, dramatically falling onto the couch. He made eye contact with Nikki, and they weren't able to keep their giggles in anymore. They busted out laughing, making Eret throw her hands up in exasperation.

"Why on earth did I introduce you two? You're ganging up on me, this isn't fair!"

Wilbur grinned at her. "I'm just too good. Deal with it."

"Why do I even bother?" Eret huffed out. 

"Aww, come on. You love me," Wilbur replied.

"Unfortunately," came the grumpy retort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Endings? What are those?
> 
> This book has no romance for two reasons!  
> 1) I don't know whether or not the cc are ok with shipping  
> 2) I have no idea how to write romance
> 
> Anyways, constructive criticism is always welcome and encouraged!


End file.
